


Walls

by Madin456



Category: Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun | My Little Monster
Genre: F/M, Fluff, I Ship It, Romance, Slice of Life, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 11:03:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2148288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madin456/pseuds/Madin456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In high school, Natsume is determined to build a defense system to protect herself from getting hurt: tall walls that will surround her at all times. But to Sasayan, the things surrounding Natsume are not just walls—they are a challenge. And he is going to break through them. SasayanxNatsume.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walls

There are walls are all around her: tall, thick, brick walls that surround her everyday at all times, almost as if she is a fragile object being shipped across the world in protective Styrofoam wrapping. 

The walls are there, but she is not invisible.

Her parents still see her as Natsume Asako, their teenage daughter who spends way too much time online when she could be spending time with friends. Boys her age still see her as Natsume Asako, the cute girl with whom they would all love to be in a relationship. And girls her age still see her as Natsume Asako, a rival who will steal all their crushes away because she has natural beauty and they’re all just jealous. 

She is the worker, a construction worker who spends years and years slowly adding bricks to make the walls around her taller and reapplying cement to make the walls stronger. She does not want all her hard work to go to waste; does not want to watch each brick fall one by one and revert back to how life had been in elementary school. 

Despite that, somewhere deep down, Natsume is waiting for that one person to come; that one person who is willing to not break the walls around her, but to climb high enough so that they can jump over the walls and stay inside with her. And maybe, just maybe, if the person is having difficulty climbing that high, then she will lower her walls just a little bit. To help.

But she never expected that person to be a boy.

.

The first time he sees her, he notices how uncomfortable she is as she walks down the hall: eyes shifting right and left, never landing on one spot for more than a few seconds, hands fidgeting with the strap of her bag nervously. 

All the eyes in the hallway are following her and at first, he thinks, _Wow, she must be really popular_ , but when he looks closer, he finds that that is not the case. There are just as many people glaring at her as there are in awe of her beauty, and more people mutter rude words under their breath than people greeting her because there are zero people who even bother to say hi. 

Sasayan decides to be the first. 

“Hey!” He runs up and falls in step with her. There is a smile on his face and he’s trying to sound as friendly as he can, while ignoring the whispers from behind him. But before he can ask her what’s wrong, she beats him to talking.

“Leave me alone,” she mumbles rather coldly and speeds up her pace to get away from him. 

He stares after her as she walks off, not bothering to chase her because that is the first time he truly feels the walls around her—protecting her and keeping away the bad things, but also keeping away the good things.

.

“Sorry,” Natsume says, hands gripping her bag tightly to prevent them from shaking uncontrollably. She runs then, runs to get away, as far away as possible, her breath hitches as she begins to feel tears form in her eyes.

Another boy who confessed to her just because she’s cute. Another boy who asked her out even though he doesn’t actually know her. Another boy: rejected. 

She is so sick of this—this routine that happens at least once a month. All boys are the same: they are selfish, they are inconsiderate, and they are just plain _mean_ for being so shallow. 

She is just a pretty face that the boys think they can take advantage of. She is just that girl with the fashionable clothes and cute shoes and trendy outfits.

But she doesn’t want to just be that girl. She wants to be Natsume Asako and she wants to be _noticed_ as Natsume Asako.

.

Sasayan notices.

He sees that under her rude comments and cold words lies someone who is cheerful and passionate and hardworking. He sees that although she turns people away more often than accepts them, she wants to fit in and make friends more than anything.

Sasayan notices and he wants her to notice it too.

.

She runs into him quite often—too often for her liking. The boy with dark hair and piercing eyes and a kind smile and a baseball cap is always there when she is trying to avoid him the most. He is always sitting in front of her in the classroom and outside in the baseball diamond when she is walking home and for some reason, he makes it a point to call out to her and say hi even when she ignores him every time.

Her heart aches whenever he turns to look her way and send her a smile. She truly does hate boys, really, she does, but she can’t help but feel bad when she gives Sasayan the cold shoulder, especially since he hasn’t done anything wrong to receive such cold reactions. He doesn’t deserve it, she thinks.

He hasn’t tried to hit on her even once and if anything, he is just being polite.

So maybe, just maybe, tomorrow she will make an effort to acknowledge him.

.

He is not completely sure why he tries so hard.

After all, Natsume is definitely someone he won’t be able to get along with well. She is cold towards people without any reason, she always places the blame on others with incomprehensible reasoning, and she complains about being lonely but never lets anyone get close to her. It’s annoying, it’s frustrating, but he finds that he only wants to help her more when he sees her sitting alone at lunch every day, seemingly on the verge of tears.

He wants to help, but doesn’t know how. He’s tried talking to her (she ignores him), smiling at her and expressing gestures of friendliness (she frowns and immediately turns away), and passing notes to her (she rips them to shreds without even glancing at the words written on the page). Nothing he tries ever works. And he is about to give up.

Until that day. 

In the morning, when they pass each other on the way to class, he greets her like usual before turning away to chat with some friends because he knows he won’t get a reply, he never does. And maybe it is just his imagination, but he hears her voice, nervous but cheerful, calling out to him: “G-good morning, Sasayan.”

He whips around just in time to see the auburn-haired girl stepping into the classroom. 

(His eyes are wide. Then, he smiles. It’s a start, he thinks.)

.

One day, realization dawns on her.

Sasayan is different, she finally understands. He doesn’t try to hit on her like all the other boys and she feels that she can really be herself around him, without the walls surrounding her. He listens to everything she says attentively, giving her tips on her blog and complimenting her when she puts on new clothes. And she finds herself attending more and more of his baseball games and just spending more time with him overall.

Although they had a rough start, she realizes that he is her first friend in a long time.

However, there are still more arguments than agreements and they almost always end off in a bad note. Whether it’s Natsume stomping off or Sasayan saying things she doesn’t want to hear, it takes a few days for both of them to calm down and push aside their pride and apologize.

She says that he doesn’t understand, that he can’t possibly understand her feelings, but sometimes with the way he looks straight into her eyes when she tells an obvious lie or with the way he half-smiles at her, she thinks that maybe he does know how she is feeling, maybe he is more aware of her than anyone else. 

And it scares her.

.

To Sasayan, the things surrounding Natsume are now no longer just walls—they are no longer just anything.

He doesn’t know when he started seeing it from this perspective, but to Sasayan, the things surrounding Natsume is a challenge. 

They are there all the time, mocking him all the time with their presence, because he can only go so far before he has to stop due to the walls blocking his way. He is in a maze, he realizes, and he wants to complete it, to get to the centre where Natsume is hidden, but he can’t figure out which way to go, what he has to say or do so that she’ll open up to him. 

It takes him a while. A few days pass and he’s still at where he started. A few weeks pass and he’s wandered somewhere deeper into the maze, completely lost. A few months pass and he notices that navigating inside the maze is getting easier, and he’s getting closer.

It takes him a while, but soon, he is well on his way to reaching his destination—his goal.

.

For the first time in a long time, she is dressing up to impress someone. She is dressing up to impress _him_.

She’s not exactly sure why, but she knows with certainty that she wants Sasayan to like her. Applying some mascara and just a dab of lipstick, she leaves her house on a Saturday morning with a new outfit that she recently bought to meet up with Sasayan.

Because it’s not a date. Really, it’s not. They weren’t like that—not yet, anyway.

But even so, her heart skips a beat and a blush creeps on her face when Sasayan compliments her appearance later on in the day.

.

“I like you, Natsume.” 

When he finally says it, when he gets caught up in the moment, he curses and mentally kicks himself because he knows that she doesn’t like guys confessing to her and he probably ruined whatever chance he had with her.

.

She panics. 

He is her best friend and he is the last person she wants to hear a confession from. She can’t believe that she thought he was any different from the other boys in their school. All boys really are the same: shallow, selfish, and inconsiderate. And the boy with the kind smile and gentle words and understanding gestures is no different.

_“I like you, Nasume.”_

She runs. She runs all the way down the street, crossing red lights and bumping into too many people she can count. She runs until she is completely out of breath and her house comes into view, until she fumbles to get her key from her purse, until she slams the front door shut, until she is all the way up the stairs and locks herself in her room.

Her bed welcomes her and she stuffs her face into her pillow. Her heart is racing. Tears flow down her cheeks. Sobs and hiccups echo throughout the room.

And in the softest voice, she whispers, _“I like you too, Sasayan.”_

.

He just wishes that things would go back to how they were before.

He blurted out the confession without thinking, just going along with the mood at the moment, and didn’t even realize what it was that he was saying before it was too late. If he could, he would take those words back because now, whenever he crosses paths with Natsume at school, things get _real_ awkward—like how it had been in the beginning. 

Natsume has retreated back inside her walls, as if all the progress that he made, all the times they spent together, doesn’t even exist. This time, he thinks, he really messed up. He decides to give her a few days to cool off and compose herself again, but before he knows it, weeks pass without a word from the girl he loves.

And then, it happens.

.

“Yes,” she confronts him one day, voice on the verge of cracking, eyes looking everywhere but at him. She waits, holding her breath, refusing to let it out until she hears his reply. It’s been almost a month since they last talked, almost a month since Sasayan told her how he felt, and she is finally giving him a response.

But it is hard to understand when someone simply walks up to you one day and, out of the blue, says yes, as if replying to a yes-or-no question that was never asked. The confusion on the baseball player’s face is evident as he furrows his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side. “Yes... what?”

Natsume gulps, fidgeting with the strap of her bag. “I-I’m answering you,” she stammers, her gaze shifting all around the room. “About when you...” She inhales a deep breath. “About when you c-confessed to me. My answer is yes.”

Sasayan stares at her a second longer and blinks. And laughs. He leans forward to rest his head on her shoulder, relief flooding throughout his body, and feels her flinch slightly at the contact but doesn’t push him away. “That’s your answer?” he chuckles. “I didn’t even ask you to go out with me.” Here, without lifting his head, he knows that her face is red with a cute blush. “Man, I seriously stressed out for nothing.”

He stays in that position for a few minutes and a comfortable silence falls around them. When he finally looks up, his hand goes to wipe a tear at the corner of Natsume’s eye. “Is this okay, though? I thought you didn’t like boys. Are you really okay with going out?”

“You’re different, Sasayan,” she says, smiling through her tears. “I just never wanted to admit it before but I... I really like you.”

She watches as his eyes go wide; it’s the first time that she has ever said she liked someone in the romantic way and Sasayan knows that just hearing those words is a privilege. And despite himself, he leans in to kiss her, lips just inches away from hers, hovering there because he wants Natsume to be sure about her decision. He waits, giving her the chance to pull away, but she doesn’t. 

So he closes the gap and gently places his lips on hers, tasting the salt of her tears and loving every second of it.

.

 _Together_ is a word she never quite understood. _Alone_ is something she is more familiar with, along with _outcast_ and _isolated_. She’s never had anyone to tell her problems to, never had anyone supporting her when she studies for tests or anyone sitting beside her during lunch or anyone to walk home with together. 

And yet, now, despite everything that has happened in the past, Sasayan is there. He wishes her good luck when exams are nearing; he walks over during break and they chat; and when the school day’s over and although he has a bike, he chooses to walk with her instead, insisting that it’s fine as long as he gets to spend more time with her.

Because of this, Sasayan is more than just her friend—more than just her boyfriend. He is her _everything_.

And when you’ve been _alone_ and _outcasted_ and _isolated_ for so long, _everything_ is like a little drop of heaven, enough to make her smile for the rest of the day.

.

It is no longer just the walls that surround her. Now, there is a door. Now, there are windows. Now, she is no longer confined in one place; now she can leave whenever she wants and return when she feels like it.

Now, people like Sasayan can visit her with ease.

Now, she is no longer alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I ship this pairing so hard.


End file.
